Friday, October 14, 2005
A sense of Feeling Better within myself!
Sorry if I have been neglecting this blog for a couple of weeks. I suddenly start to find that I am busy and then my poor blog suffers and also I find that I don't know what to write and it seems from reading most of your blogs you have that problem and you seem to think that you write lots of nonsense.
I think we all have ideas like that but all your blogs are great. Anyway part of the reason why I haven't been doing this blog is because of me being on Ouch's weblog that I haven't been doing this blog, but even by doing that I feel I haven't contributed much! I normally am always the one who seeks out most disability issues and stories so I don't know what's going there!
Anyway, the reason for writing this post now, is because I wanted to share with you something that may have been found out that I never knew before.
I went for an appointment to see a lady about my teeth, Now I've been having problems with my teeth and having problems as led to have bad problems with my gums. It's not by any means my fault it's something that has happened. When I start to do my teeth, my poor gums bleed and hurt so that has stopped me from doing them because mentally it has given me warning signs. I found out that all this has also contributed to all the fears, and worries and upset that I had been going to see my counsellor about.
All my problems with hospitals and things happening as a child had mucked me up within my head and that's also things you don't see with me if you meet me or talk to me on the Ouch messageboards.
Think of it as a side that you never see, largely because I can mess up my words and say something different.
I also came up with two visualisations of myself when I saw my counsellor on Monday and that also helped to say how I felt.
I will tell you them so you can see what I was telling them about.
Outside of me The outside of me is a hollow shell that you can do anything to and can talk to easily, The outside shell is a coper and a mature adult. The outside also gets on with life happily and can be a good caring, friendly person.
Inside of Me- The inside is a childish being, that has seen lots of things, and has had all the things done to it like the hurt and the pain, is always upset, feels scared, and finds doing things painful and doesn't want to do them. It has had lots of operations on it, It has fragile bones and the mild osteoporosis(which I have!) .
I think all these visualisations must stem from all the problems I had at birth but allow me to tell you them on another post, as there's quite a few problems that happened!
I hopeI'm not being too self concious to you on this post as this is all how I felt and our blogs should be a place where we can say how we feel.
I think we all have ideas like that but all your blogs are great. Anyway part of the reason why I haven't been doing this blog is because of me being on Ouch's weblog that I haven't been doing this blog, but even by doing that I feel I haven't contributed much! I normally am always the one who seeks out most disability issues and stories so I don't know what's going there!
Anyway, the reason for writing this post now, is because I wanted to share with you something that may have been found out that I never knew before.
I went for an appointment to see a lady about my teeth, Now I've been having problems with my teeth and having problems as led to have bad problems with my gums. It's not by any means my fault it's something that has happened. When I start to do my teeth, my poor gums bleed and hurt so that has stopped me from doing them because mentally it has given me warning signs. I found out that all this has also contributed to all the fears, and worries and upset that I had been going to see my counsellor about.
All my problems with hospitals and things happening as a child had mucked me up within my head and that's also things you don't see with me if you meet me or talk to me on the Ouch messageboards.
Think of it as a side that you never see, largely because I can mess up my words and say something different.
I also came up with two visualisations of myself when I saw my counsellor on Monday and that also helped to say how I felt.
I will tell you them so you can see what I was telling them about.
Outside of me The outside of me is a hollow shell that you can do anything to and can talk to easily, The outside shell is a coper and a mature adult. The outside also gets on with life happily and can be a good caring, friendly person.
Inside of Me- The inside is a childish being, that has seen lots of things, and has had all the things done to it like the hurt and the pain, is always upset, feels scared, and finds doing things painful and doesn't want to do them. It has had lots of operations on it, It has fragile bones and the mild osteoporosis(which I have!) .
I think all these visualisations must stem from all the problems I had at birth but allow me to tell you them on another post, as there's quite a few problems that happened!
I hopeI'm not being too self concious to you on this post as this is all how I felt and our blogs should be a place where we can say how we feel.
Comments:
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You're right Katie, our blogs need to be a place where we can pour out all our feelings and talk about things that happen to us. It would be hard to do that on ouch really.
Life is one big struggle and although you must feel so alone with you're problems at times. You don't need to feel alone though . We all have emmotional problems. You'd be amazed how many of us are. I believe it's all because of the way people treat each. I haven't been well treated and have had a negative view of life pushed onto me. I've been very bitter and resentful of the world when i was younger. I used to hate non-disabled people. Now, I'm over a lot of the hurt I've had to put up with, I'm just... well, I just don't care at the moment. I don't know how when it comes to dealing with non-disabled people. At least I'm over all the bad negativity. I can work on the rest of it later.
I hope you're working well with the help of your councellor. i hope you soon get to a time in your life when you feel a lot different from how you've felt and feel now. There's a lot of pain that seems to shared around the world but, not enough love gets around. One day it will :)
Life is one big struggle and although you must feel so alone with you're problems at times. You don't need to feel alone though . We all have emmotional problems. You'd be amazed how many of us are. I believe it's all because of the way people treat each. I haven't been well treated and have had a negative view of life pushed onto me. I've been very bitter and resentful of the world when i was younger. I used to hate non-disabled people. Now, I'm over a lot of the hurt I've had to put up with, I'm just... well, I just don't care at the moment. I don't know how when it comes to dealing with non-disabled people. At least I'm over all the bad negativity. I can work on the rest of it later.
I hope you're working well with the help of your councellor. i hope you soon get to a time in your life when you feel a lot different from how you've felt and feel now. There's a lot of pain that seems to shared around the world but, not enough love gets around. One day it will :)
# posted by 
: 6:08 pm
: 6:08 pm
Hi Katie, I enjoy reading your blog and agree to Justin, saying that blogs are a good place to write about ones feelings.
I think it shows a lot of courage to be so honest and to reveal such a lot of things about yourself. It can also be useful for other readers who have not yet achieved that degree of honesty, sometimes not even towards themselves. Go on writing. It`s good!
Another thing: I have checked out the link in your ouch blog about the transition project. It was nice to find pictures of you! I don`t know why, but I was absolutly certain that you MUST have short dark hair (no idea why, honestly!)Well, you haven`t. Isn`t it funny what strage ideas we sometimes have if we try to figure out what people we do not know might look like?
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I think it shows a lot of courage to be so honest and to reveal such a lot of things about yourself. It can also be useful for other readers who have not yet achieved that degree of honesty, sometimes not even towards themselves. Go on writing. It`s good!
Another thing: I have checked out the link in your ouch blog about the transition project. It was nice to find pictures of you! I don`t know why, but I was absolutly certain that you MUST have short dark hair (no idea why, honestly!)Well, you haven`t. Isn`t it funny what strage ideas we sometimes have if we try to figure out what people we do not know might look like?
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